If you live or have lived in a home with alcholism,drugs or any dependant sickness you know about chaos. The insanity in a home like this definitly changes who you are as you grow up.
I am an adult child of two alchoholic parents. Peace was a rare special comodity. The peace after the the insanity and chaos was so precious.
I'm lying in bed asleep when I hear a loud crash. Then there was screaming, cursing and yelling two floors below. I'm statled but dare not move. I listen and hear the blows and my grandmother saying No Jackie, No Russell. This goes on for a long time at least it seems so to a seven year old girl.
Then after the confusion comes the sudden quit, that powerful quiet after a terrible storm. So precious! So relieving! Finally I fall asleep and hope no one is dead.
My brother and I live in fear. A fear so deep and so scary we dare not move at times. We lived like this all of our childhood. Fear is a terrible thing to live with day in and day out, epecially when you can do nothing about it. Never knowing what may happen at any time.
I remember one Christmas when this chaos took hold of our Christmas day. The insanity infiltrated our day, all day. When they fell asleep we were so grateful. We quietly turned on the TV and watch Scrooge. We sat their close together with an emence feeling of relief.
Quiet is just part of life which most people can have when ever they choose. My definition of quiet as a child, was the quiet you get after the storm.The peace that surpasses all understanding.
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